THE U.S. OIL MONOPOLY: Yes, It’s A Rip-off! Worse Yet, It’s A Sign Of A Fading Democracy

Back in the mid-‘70’s, I watched a large two-tank gas truck roll into the Shell station across the street; the driver proceeded to dump the gas into underground tanks. About an hour later, another, similar truck arrived and the scenario was repeated. What is interesting is that it was about 2:00 AM and the station had been closed for about two weeks. It didn’t open the next day, either, but I did run into the owner having dinner at the local diner that night.

“Hey, Gil,” I said. “How come you’re still not open and I saw two trucks unload over there last night?”

“Well,” he replied, “it’s like this. Right now I’ve got 50,000 gallons of gas in the ground. I actually bought that gas three weeks ago and Shell told me they’d deliver it later at the same price. So, I closed and I don’t have any payroll and not much overhead and now, I’ll wait another week and I can open again. I’ll sell the whole 50,000 gallons of gas in about two days and I’ll make about 50 cents a gallon on it, because the price has gone up that much. Not bad for two days work, huh?” Especially in those days.

Those were the days of the “gas shortages” and the public was gullible enough to go along with it. It was just a simple matter of creating the demand and holding back on the supply.

Déjà vu all over again? Well, the individual operators aren’t making the money. But, the majors are. It appears to me that they are putting out a good spin and great lip service and laying the blame everywhere except at their own doorsteps. Why can’t THEY hoard the gas and create the demand and limit the supply and drive the costs up?

I don’t doubt that production has leveled off. The wells will run dry someday. But the question nags at me: Are we citizens of this world paying the price of our own ignorance?

I can cite many cases in point. Remember the great sugar shortage that drove the price of sugar and soft drinks sky high? Why did no one complain about the price of sugar-free soft drinks going up at the same time? Remember the toilet paper shortage? Talk about all of the stock flying off the shelves over that one!

And now, we get to the “trickle-down effect.” In all honesty, I’ve expected the impact of high has and diesel prices to hit retail values for over a year now and I think that most outlets have done an excellent job in containing prices. Now, it’s time for us to pay the piper and we’re seeing all sorts of “sticker shock” wherever we go.

Nevertheless, we don’t see retailers claiming enormous jumps in profit similar to those posted by the oil companies. At the same time, the oil companies are controlling prices at the pump, not by telling the operators what to sell for, but by controlling the prices that they allow their distributors to deliver for. Let’s face it, we are down to four…. just four… oil operating companies in this country.

Isn’t this the reason the government broke the oil companies apart for 50 or 60 years ago? Had they not created a hopeless monopoly, similar to what we have today? Should we break them up again? Should we pull the ultimate coup and nationalize them?

I think there is ample legal precedent for the country to consider such drastic measures, based on the public need and under the same premise that utilities, rails and other similar industries are regulated. Here is one blatant example of what happens when “greed rules the day and government looks away.” This is just one of many, almost countless, symptoms of a crumbling will to govern ourselves. The day is rapidly approaching when we Americans are going to have to step up to the plate and take our country back from the pirate bandits or to watch Roman history repeat itself. The price of freedom and democracy is eternal vigilance and we Americans are to blame for ignoring our watch.

LET’S GET RID OF THE NEED TO BLAME: Join the Do-Gooders Today!

Didn’t do a blog posting last week due to the death of my beloved brother-in-law, Howard Robert Winn. I know he would have loved THIS blog posting, so I’ll dedicate it to him.

Let’s face it: The major problem we have in America today is where to point the blame. That applies to anything and everything. If you try to lay the blame for something at a politician’s feet, he’ll start dancing around the issue faster than the band can play the music. Point the finger of blame to a corporate entity and you’ll be facing a hoard of attorneys that multiplies like rabbits. Blame your spouse and you’ll be dead meat spinning on the rotisserie before you finish the last sentence.

Plain and simple, we MUST remove the need to blame anyone for anything. Therefore, we should start by having the courage and the fortitude to directly be proactive in resolving the ten, (10), most serious causes for blame at the earliest possible opportunity. I have some suggestions that I am putting on the table for your consideration:

(1) There has been a recent push to place alcohol detectors on all cars to prevent drunks from driving…. or any one from driving, for that matter, if they have had a drink. Now, we all know that will punch the cost of cars even higher… up to $500 per car. No one, however, is really thinking the problem all of the way through. I can get my friend to blow the tube, then I’ll get in and drive away. Who knows, this could lead to a new vocation, the name of which I’ll leave to your imagination. Booze causes health problems, just as cigarettes do. The real answer here is to get rid of the booze. Prohibition needs to be reinstated immediately. Come on, you must agree; if cars won’t start because the detector smells booze on the human breath, Congress won’t be able to get to work spending our money every day, and that’s what we’re paying them for.

(2) You’ve probably heard about the lady who is suing the bat manufacturer? Her son was pitching a little league game when the batter was lucky enough to swing his aluminum bat and hit the ball, which in turn rocketed back to the mound and hit the young pitcher in the chest in the left heart area just as the heart was relaxing, thereby causing the heart to stop momentarily due to a previously unknown rare heart condition. The lady says that aluminum bats hit the ball harder than wood bats. But, we all know that bats hit balls into players’ heads, bellies, wrists, groins… people get injured all of the time, whether the bat is made of wood or aluminum. The answer here is to reduce the size of the bat and the hardness of the ball. I recommend a law to require hollow plastic bats and balls in all baseball or softball games at all level of play from this point forward.

(3) Anyone who has tried to contact Dell Computer Service for tech help knows that Dell has the crappiest service in the land. That’s because all of their service reps are located in India, Indonesia, Thailand, or someplace where English is spoken with an authoritarian and unintelligible dialect and they are not empowered to take a pee unless it is in their manual. So, the new rule is that technical service reps MUST be located in the country, (U.S.) where the end product is sold and they must speak the language, (English), fluently. Otherwise, the product cannot be sold here. That saves us the agony of being accused of racism because we might decide not to purchase their bullshit products in the first place.

(4) We all know that guns kill people. They do it even without anyone around to aim and pull the trigger. But, those damned strict Constitutionalists keep harping on the right to bear arms. The simple answer, then, is to ban the manufacture, possession or sale of ammunition in the U.S. Let ‘em try and shoot that gun they cling on to without ammo.

(5) Now, it seems to be a national sport to talk bad about someone when they are running for political office. But, it just isn’t nice to talk about their spouses. Barracks Obama is just as correct in pointing that out as Chelsea was about people asking questions regarding her dad’s sexual life. We are only citizens, and we do not have the mental ability to think for ourselves or to digest issues. For that reason, I do not think that we, as Americans, are really entitled to know anything about the candidates, their backgrounds, or their relatives.

(6) Broken prophylactics are responsible for thousands of unwanted babies and thousands of sexually transmitted diseases in this country every year. Additionally, tinfoil wrappers and used condoms litter sidewalks, ditches, and flowerbeds across our beautiful landscape. Abstinence is the only answer, but no one will comply with such an edict. We therefore recommend the removal of all sexual reproductive organs immediately upon birth. For those who insist on having children, they can adopt from a third-world nation and thereby reduce hunger.

(7) SUV’s eat gas and kill small-car drivers. No one cares to touch this sacred cow, so we suggest that there be a law prohibiting the sale of more than three SUV tires to anyone. There’s more than one way to skin a SUV.

(8) Everyone complains about taxes. Married people get a break. People with kids get a break. The rich pay less than their share. People with mortgages get a break but renters don’t. Someone is always to blame on this issue, so the only fair answer is that the tax rates be set at 100% for everyone. That eliminates hundreds of thousands of IRS agents and tons of paperwork every year. The government can thusly be in charge of seeing that we all live in comparable houses, eat comparable food, and go to comparable schools.

(9) One of the major issues facing America today is identification. We need plastic cards for each bank account, cards for licenses, cards for medical information, cards for social security, cards for buying groceries, and cards for insurance. The idea of under-the-skin implants is ideal. These implants can carry all of that information and more, and we won’t have to worry about carrying cash, either.

(10) Race has been a problem since day one. The Europeans have been fighting the Indians, Mexicans and Negroes since well before 1796. The best way to eliminate this issue permanently is to remove everyone who is not of the original race on this continent. Therefore, the Indians are now back in charge and everyone else must leave. Don’t forget to stop by the casino on your way out.

I thought that ten would cover everything, but another has just come to mind that cannot be left out. Effective immediately, everyone born in this country will have their rear end sewn shut, because one of the oldest issues that we have had to place blame for in the past is the well-known issue, “Shit happens.”

Should I try to solve ten more next week?

THE REAL MEANINGS IN LIFE: The Benefits of Navel Contemplation & Other Fuzzy Things

Every now and then, I like to drive up into the mountains to my secret spot at the top of the world. Not only can you get a much better view of the smog up there, but it’s an ideal place to get inside of your navel; I mean, its quiet solitude is interrupted only by an occasional eagle slamming into nearby microwave dishes. Usually, the racket from the squawking, falling and dying eagle keeps other wildlife away, thereby allowing one to lose track of time and the pressures of life as he immerses himself into deep contemplation.

A soft pillow or cushion is absolutely essential to keep your buns from getting scratched on rocks and twigs. Picking a nice, sunny spot is another trick I learned long ago, because the cool air at mountain tops can cause goose bumps in the shady areas, particularly if there’s a northerly wind. One other necessity to make the day into a success is a baby pacifier. Once you get into your navel, you don’t want to get sucked back out by a bear looking for honey, so you pull the pacifier in after you to plug the navel opening shut.

Now, the journey begins.

“Do you suppose,” I ask aloud in the dark, moist silence, “that if Barbara Walters admits that she had an affair with a Senator many years ago, that means it is okay for mankind to be screwed by Congress?” I have always suspected that the cosmos connect all events in an orderly and meaningful manner which, upon inspection and retrospection, will reveal the ultimate secrets of the universe.

Moving along a little further into the dark recesses of my omphalos, I ask, “If Barack Obama says that he will never abandon his pastor and then he drops him like a hot potato just a week or two later, does that mean that all Democrats, (excluding the Clintons, of course), are heartless liars who won’t live up to their principles and who will turn on you faster than a snake?”

I know that I won’t get any answers to my questions until I reach the end of my journey to the innermost reaches of my interior umbilical canal. So, I continue, “If it is truly our fault that 9/11 happened, does that also mean that we are to blame for the increase in hurricanes, cyclones, earthquakes, volcanoes, pestilence, hunger, and bedbugs?”

“If our great President with the bobbing head declares that there are no signs of an economic downturn, and then says a week or so later that the economy is indeed sluggish and he’s trying to fix it, does that mean that he is a Democrat?”

“If Hillary says that she was under sniper fire in Bosnia and then fesses up later that she must have gotten her memories confused, does that mean that she was under sniper fire someplace else? Has she been hunting with Dick Cheney?”

“If they discovered drug trafficking and drugs all over San Diego State University, does that mean that Georgetown and Wellesley are clean? Would that thereby be proof that Bill and Hillary didn’t do drugs in college?”

“If there were no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, does that mean there are no nuclear programs in Iran?”

“If Saddam feared getting venereal diseases from his guards, does that mean he was gay?”

“If rice prices are at an absolute high, does that mean Condoleeeeeza is holding out for more money for the VP slot?”

“If you can create a diamond ring from the carbon and ashes of your deceased loved one and the value of the diamond is $5,000, but the value of the human body is only $4.50, would you have to pay capital gains tax on the diamond? Could you deduct mileage from your place to the jewelers?”

I hear a growing, groaning rumble coming from way down the other end of the umbilical tunnel.

“With oil inventories and oil supply actually increasing as the world’s economy slows down, why do the prices keep going up? Could that have anything to do with someone deliberately wanting prices to be high going into the November elections? Would the Democratically controlled U.S. Congress want to make the Republican President look bad so the Dems can win back the White House?”

“If all of those thousands of trailers manufactured for the Katrina victims are indeed filled with glue fumes and formaldehyde, could Bill Clinton and George H.W. Bush deliver them to Myanmar to be used there?

“If Jimmy Carter can make peace with Hamas, can he make peace between Barack and Hillary?”

“If the United States ever does seal its Mexican border against illegal aliens and terrorists, does that mean no one, especially terrorists, will try to cross the undefended, under-patrolled Canadian border?”

“Is it true that a suicide bomber takes 72 Viagras before he pulls the plunger so that he’ll be ready for his 72 virgins?”

Uh, oh. The growing rumbling is now a roar. “GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE, YOU IGNORAMIC, HALFWITTED BUFFOON!” a thunderous voice echoes from the tunnel. “AND, DON’T EVER, EVER RETURN!” A rush of moist, warm air bellows toward me and I feel myself being pushed back from whence I came.

Dazed, I awaken in the sun with the pacifier lying at my feet. An eagle feather floats gently down in front of me. And I sadly observe that my navel has totally and absolutely disappeared. Apparently, I've just had the last of my navel contemplations.

Where’s the remote?