WHY I WON'T FLY

I love to fly; I even took flying lessons.  I fondly remember the days when the airlines did everything in the world to cater to the traveling public; Delta was the epitome of service and all of the other airlines wanted to be just like Delta.  People actually looked forward to flying; it was a pleasant experience.  

Today, you won't see me on a commercial flight.  Travelers are just a number and that's that.  Fork over the money, get on the damned plane, follow the rules, sit down and shut up.  If you're a good little boy, we'll fork over a few peanuts and four ounces of cheap soda.  If you have to take a pee, you'd better hold it until the plane backs away from the gate, gets off the ground and the "fasten seat belts" sign goes off; otherwise, you're going to get tossed off the plane and, if you pee your pants, that's your problem.  

Some accountant discovered that they could get more suckers on the plane by narrowing the seats and shortening the leg room.  Never mind that by doing so they have more weight on the plane and need more fuel to fly, or that passengers are uncomfortable; if they don't like it, they can walk and we'll put some other paying sucker in their seat.  

The last time I flew, I got onto the internet and got my boarding pass so that I could gain some early seating choices.  They pulled me out of the security-check line and by the time I got to the gate, they had already boarded the the lower boarding pass numbers, so they made me wait until everyone else had boarded.  It wasn't my fault, but I was penalized anyway.  Well... I have an artificial hip, so I always get pulled out of the line, but they don't care.  

So, I'd prefer to drive, even if it takes an extra day.  I can pull over and leak when I need to, I can eat when I want to, I have much better seating and I don't have to follow any stupid, anti-customer rules.  I can get on board when I want and I don't have to sit next to a crying baby or some jackass who hasn't bathed in three months.  

The airlines these days do not deserve my business or my money.  They're to blame for that, not me.