The very split-second the last vote was counted and Brett Kavanaugh was confirmed to the Supreme Court, the phones started to ring at funeral homes across the nation; true to Democrat predictions made
before Kavanaugh was even nominated, thousands of people are in the process of dying because Trump successfully named a new Justice.
"I can't believe it," one operator of a funeral home exclaimed. "We can't even get our hands on caskets or urns anywhere. We're actually thinking about putting bodies and ashes in vacuum packs."
Moving companies are cashing in on the confirmation as well. "We've got people moving from San Francisco, Hollywood, Chicago... everywhere... and they're all moving to Canada," according to Sol Olinskie, president of ProTest Van Lines.
In the meanwhile, rapists and drunks across the country were celebrating in the streets. "It's clear sailing now," they chanted. "We can do whatever we want!"
Maxine Waters, not to be silenced, planned to file impeachment charges against Kavanaugh first thing Monday morning. Richard Blumenthal is so disgusted, he plans on burning his fake Vietnam medals. As for Christine Blasey Ford, she's busy negotiating book and movie rights. Millions of liberal women are in bed getting pregnant so they can get abortions before Kavanaugh can engineer a reversal of Roe vs. Wade.
What a wonderful country we live in.
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